Sunday, January 28, 2007
Everything terrible you could imagine in a race , all lumped into one. Rain that wasn't heavy enough to cancel the race, rain that wasn't light enough to be somewhat delightful. The guilt of not having done enough long runs for the week ( and previous). The claim of having no expectations, the laid-backness , the unwillingness , the lousy preparation, the sick attitude of thinking of too highly of yourself.
So, I have extremely fortunately braved the evil of evils of any race. The maiden race will indeed be the most unforgettable. Frankly, I was almost not nervous at all. Warm up was a pleasant jog and stretching was spent wondering how gross my shoes would be after the race. Now, I have braved such terrains previously, took my time to skip over puddles and even break into 5 second TINY stops. However, I have never seen tonnes and tonnes of people overtake me in a matter of seconds. I was truely heartbroken. Expectations . It seems that I have thought too well of myself. I thought I could take it alright, they'd be like nudges , little pokes making me slightly uncomfortable. However, they came as surges of electricity , burning down my back , piercing through my skin . I was thorougly out of hope.
I summoned the last I had to storm through the slope only to .... never mind
I hereby admit that I was afraid to give it all. I haven't suffered for some time now. I have never been good at handling pressure. this seriously feels like failing Mr Tan's math by one mark.
.
I 've been so dependent on you. Having to let you pass me the message of what nots. Being unhappy over what I did not like hearing. Rejecting all that seem to be even the slightest forms of critisizms.
I am so self-centered and unwilling. I will not go far, I will not last.
There's no point pinning onto hopes of a sunnier day.
It's gonna be all rain and rain.
now that you've kept your distance from the track, i admit that i would definitely want to leave with you. Does my knee really hurt or am I telling it to? I wish I had more answers. I wish I could go to Vivo at my own wish and down chillidog after chillidog.
Failing math by a mark ¶ 6:04 AM
So, I have extremely fortunately braved the evil of evils of any race. The maiden race will indeed be the most unforgettable. Frankly, I was almost not nervous at all. Warm up was a pleasant jog and stretching was spent wondering how gross my shoes would be after the race. Now, I have braved such terrains previously, took my time to skip over puddles and even break into 5 second TINY stops. However, I have never seen tonnes and tonnes of people overtake me in a matter of seconds. I was truely heartbroken. Expectations . It seems that I have thought too well of myself. I thought I could take it alright, they'd be like nudges , little pokes making me slightly uncomfortable. However, they came as surges of electricity , burning down my back , piercing through my skin . I was thorougly out of hope.
I summoned the last I had to storm through the slope only to .... never mind
I hereby admit that I was afraid to give it all. I haven't suffered for some time now. I have never been good at handling pressure. this seriously feels like failing Mr Tan's math by one mark.
.
I 've been so dependent on you. Having to let you pass me the message of what nots. Being unhappy over what I did not like hearing. Rejecting all that seem to be even the slightest forms of critisizms.
I am so self-centered and unwilling. I will not go far, I will not last.
There's no point pinning onto hopes of a sunnier day.
It's gonna be all rain and rain.
now that you've kept your distance from the track, i admit that i would definitely want to leave with you. Does my knee really hurt or am I telling it to? I wish I had more answers. I wish I could go to Vivo at my own wish and down chillidog after chillidog.
Failing math by a mark ¶ 6:04 AM
