Wednesday, November 01, 2006
And so.. the nose refuses to stop dripping. Therefore explains my reluctance to step out of the house, I just might flood the entire universe. Well, the neighbourhood for a start.
Spent the little daylights outta bed packing the study, I still have not returned my library books. Ohwells, I forsaked training again.
Somehow, I feel like many people are disappointed with me. The initial enthusiasm and hope. Beaming so brightly that , I wondered to myself " Hey, this might just be something new." However, everything , anything, whatever it is, boils back down to the same old ending.
I would never last! I had wanted to read up on next year's history syllabus. It lasted for 20 minutes. I wanted to figure out Magic on the piano, it never worked out. tsk
A mere girls' route. Whatever happened to running 2 figure 9s.
I guess the only thing Im determined to do is rant ( and hoping that it reflects back some sense into me but yohoho.)
I will very soon " screwdrive " my forehead if I still fail to garner some focus. Although, my music must-haves arent as difficult as before, some or rather MUCH dark force is driving me off my feet. Plus, I have to admit I do things very very half-heartedly. I'm sorry Dad, I dint put in my best to correct your lousy sentence structures. Sigh
My opponents want me crippled maybe! This very flu Im battling, might be a spell cast upon by some very very evil people. SIGH! What am I thinking! Which somehow brings me to the point that, doing chinese papers have been .. very enriching. I have enjoyed doing them somehow ( not in a freezing LT and annoying company)I have since based many many decisions on the themes of those passages. ( in the first place I AMAZINGLY recall them ;/ hmmm. )
However, my inactive mode today proved to be a very relieving prospect for my mom. For the first time in a pretty long time, she laughs and jokes during dinner. Bursts into fits of laughter at the slightest tinge of humour ( ha , my dad is SOMETIMES humorous)
I sit and watch them poke fun at each other. How comforting.
No matter, how much crap is bothering him , he keeps them aside, embraces the best mood he can and receives us.
It has always and only been ME ME ME ME ME ME ME.. I. whats the best for ME.
I killed all those good chances which I could have to get to know any person better. Thats because I didnt feel like.
The sun's inside a hole
The faster you don't know
A long, long way from home
There are things you need to know
The answers leave you cold
You're a long, long way from home
And the summers coming back
And it brings a second chance
If you're not part of this
Then I don't wanna know ...
Will The Future Blame Us? - Our Lady Peace
Tell myself, on the ride home.
Getting tired, hating all I've known.
Holding on, like it's all I have.
Count me out, when it's clear that I, find it hard to say.
And you, find it hard to care.
darling, you're facing the first step into the world that you knw much better than I do. It's not self-pity, more of a... senseless, dont knw how i should put it, feeling that came out wrong. I will sort myself out, you will be yourself. I just wish you would speak a little more, just a little more...
and yes, my inclination to say never mind.
kcuf, i only know how to complain la
SOMETHING SOMETHING MUST HAPPEN TO ME. I NEED AN IMPACT IN MY LIFE.
so bloody senseless.
¶ 6:28 AM 
