Whilst flustering over the tremendous work load in store( stall? ) for me this weekend, I can't help but feel the need to vent my frustrations once again. My fingers still feeling hot after being " stung " by vinegar from the IS1104 ind. project which requires extremely nimble fingers ( which unfortunately i do not posssess). One of my eggs literally burst when I laid my hands on it. But ohwels.

Nobody in the family knows what the hell I am talking about. Am I that incoherent and vague in my sentences that they can interprete it in such a ridiculous and random manner. HOW DO YOU PRONOUNCE GIAMSO. literally GIAM - SO. oh ho ho. fancy insisting that it is read as giam SOOO. like wth ? First look at it, GIAMSO. people read out what they see. GIAMSO. they do not know the chinese word for it. It's the company name. people wont effing know what you are saying. " oh , you knw giamsoo ? you knw erm the travel agency ? giamsoo?"

I'm sorry I don't know. I only know giamSO. Repeated my explanation thrice ! telling them that most people would read off what they see and not what they knw. ( for they might knw anything ) and they STILL kept insisting it was GIAMSOO. urhhh! then to add on to my frustration, the ass went " no comments" and walked off.

they blame me for not accepting the fact that I am wrong. but WAIT ! im not wrong. and neither are you right ! goodness. and well. in a fit , i said the word " BLOODY". i said " it is so bloody obvious".

wohooo. tempers flare ! " you're a girl, why do you speak like that ? you go out so often and learn all this kind of languages , next time you go out not , come back so bad" - someone trying to speak english but well not successful. how amazing, linking to all wards of ways to put me off.

" i bet when youre in a debate and you speak like that you will lose "
NO I WONT. i was proud of my explanation. and youre just jealous you cant do it so you resort to UNLINKED matters to put me off. This is a stupid way to make sure that you have something to say so that you wont look so inferior in front of me. But then again, what I say might be too difficult for you to digest. You had chinese education and your english aint good.

I bet my friends could understand after I say it once. That's why I cant be bothered to talk so much at home anymore. Thanks after much similar occassions, you have successfully inccurred the thought of me being a person who cannot speak properly. You have injected me with a low - morale and I am extremely grateful for that.

Everything I ask for would be the last resort. Everything that I might want would always seem like a bad idea. you called me a petty person. i understand, you just dint have anything else to say. I am always in the bad light. I take the crap all for your sake. Expressing myself has become a crime. Talking loudly has become a sin. Releasing the slightest hint of anger is illegal.

I have tried many roads but they all lead me back to the same place. I cannot change for the sake of changing. I am who I am. Bend me for all you want, i shall not and never break.

call me heartless , call me sinful. it was you who failed me. i have become such a angry person that i believe i have lost the ability to love. I solemnly swear that I do not love anyone in this existing world and i believe i never will. After all, what do I stand to get. Every single one of you out there , you drove me into this.

perhaps I'm not meant to live.  ¶ 2:27 PM