Saturday, August 13, 2005
I cannot mess up my kitchen even if its for a reasonable cause. I cannot blast music in the house. I cannot eat silently without being asked if I were unhappy with the food and to go find better food somewhere else. I cannot close the study door and shield away all the unnecessary chatter. I cannot correct what they have said wrongly. I cannot whisper to my brother in front of them. I cannot cry over my hard work which has just unfortunately been wrecked.
so im suppose to go. OH MAN ITS WRECKED. NVM. wrong! all wrong. try doing it from 11 til 4 , just when you thought you can sit back and be relieved and be so happy that you have actually completed something FASTER than jason's group. EVERYTHING GOES WRONG. stupid jelly why dint you turn opaque earlier IF YOU WANTED TO. so i neednt worry like shit now. everything in the world is wrong and against me.
i have so much affinity with the word WRONG.
i totally foresee what's gonna happen in the next few hours.
I will stay in the study room.
Every 10 minutes, one uncle/aunt/grandma/grandpa/P A R E N T/sibling will come knocking and disrupt me in my attempt to control my anger.
woah, am i right? one just left. is it WEIRD to see a kid getting flustered over her work , do they need to stare as if - frowning and deliberate silence are new found phenomenons in the world? well, apparently those are alienic to them. dint I mention ? they just moved in from pluto. Must be the air there.
I pounded on the cupboard door. yes it was a little loud. in return, i heard cackling laughter and LOUDER exclamations. " NIN LAO HIA LA, AN ZUA HOU MEH ? WO KA LIR GONG.." blast! I suddenly feel like harry potter living with the dursleys.
" Don't mind him, he's a little weird, he studies in St. Brutus School for Boys - some rehabiliation for criminals la.
Please spot the similarities.
"Don't mind her , she's ALWAYS like that. she studies as if the whole world has offended her, she's never happy with what she has, kids nowadays just dunno how to appreciate."
I just wanna close my eyes, open it in a matter of minutes to find that my parents are nicer, more sensitive and helpful. but is that possible? no. sorry I know I am not good with words like I have said for so many times. I constantly drop obvious hints that I need help. I try to discuss matters with them, hoping to get some enlightenment on certain issues. WHAT DO I GET?
" so simple, in my days...( goes on with the story) and YES i have heard it for the 34th time" and IT DOESNT EVEN LINK TO THE FRKING QTN I ASKED. " " Never mind it's okay , jus try harder Im sure it will turn out transparent" NO IT WONT, TELL ME HOW.
me: sorry , can you please lower your volume?
he: HUH? THE LOUDEST EVER.
me: can you not say that, its very disturbing
he: HUH WHAT YOU TALKING ABT, WHY CANT I SAY HUH?
never mind, do it to me at home. FINE. in the public, YOUR HUH, can tremble the whole ground and attract the attention of people 500m radius around you. CRUDE. always trying to cover up mistakes. I TELL YOU ITS WRONG, YOU KNW ITS WRONG, BUT YOU REFUSE TO ADMIt. KEEP ON INSISTING AND TWISTING YOUR WORDS well to see whether the situation can be salvaged so you wont seem too ABSURDLY wrong. ego. THE EGO OF THE MALE SPECIES. keeps them up BUT definitely puts them down as well.
I deserve more than this.
i tried to make things better but you dun seem to get the point. Is it that hard to pay more attention while I talk and not ask the same qtns after 20 sec? I get so irritated that i cannot tell myself to be patient and be tolerant anymore. tell me, just tell me, what do you want me to be? ¶ 8:23 PM
so im suppose to go. OH MAN ITS WRECKED. NVM. wrong! all wrong. try doing it from 11 til 4 , just when you thought you can sit back and be relieved and be so happy that you have actually completed something FASTER than jason's group. EVERYTHING GOES WRONG. stupid jelly why dint you turn opaque earlier IF YOU WANTED TO. so i neednt worry like shit now. everything in the world is wrong and against me.
i have so much affinity with the word WRONG.
i totally foresee what's gonna happen in the next few hours.
I will stay in the study room.
Every 10 minutes, one uncle/aunt/grandma/grandpa/
woah, am i right? one just left. is it WEIRD to see a kid getting flustered over her work , do they need to stare as if - frowning and deliberate silence are new found phenomenons in the world? well, apparently those are alienic to them. dint I mention ? they just moved in from pluto. Must be the air there.
I pounded on the cupboard door. yes it was a little loud. in return, i heard cackling laughter and LOUDER exclamations. " NIN LAO HIA LA, AN ZUA HOU MEH ? WO KA LIR GONG.." blast! I suddenly feel like harry potter living with the dursleys.
" Don't mind him, he's a little weird, he studies in St. Brutus School for Boys - some rehabiliation for criminals la.
Please spot the similarities.
"Don't mind her , she's ALWAYS like that. she studies as if the whole world has offended her, she's never happy with what she has, kids nowadays just dunno how to appreciate."
I just wanna close my eyes, open it in a matter of minutes to find that my parents are nicer, more sensitive and helpful. but is that possible? no. sorry I know I am not good with words like I have said for so many times. I constantly drop obvious hints that I need help. I try to discuss matters with them, hoping to get some enlightenment on certain issues. WHAT DO I GET?
" so simple, in my days...( goes on with the story) and YES i have heard it for the 34th time" and IT DOESNT EVEN LINK TO THE FRKING QTN I ASKED. " " Never mind it's okay , jus try harder Im sure it will turn out transparent" NO IT WONT, TELL ME HOW.
me: sorry , can you please lower your volume?
he: HUH? THE LOUDEST EVER.
me: can you not say that, its very disturbing
he: HUH WHAT YOU TALKING ABT, WHY CANT I SAY HUH?
never mind, do it to me at home. FINE. in the public, YOUR HUH, can tremble the whole ground and attract the attention of people 500m radius around you. CRUDE. always trying to cover up mistakes. I TELL YOU ITS WRONG, YOU KNW ITS WRONG, BUT YOU REFUSE TO ADMIt. KEEP ON INSISTING AND TWISTING YOUR WORDS well to see whether the situation can be salvaged so you wont seem too ABSURDLY wrong. ego. THE EGO OF THE MALE SPECIES. keeps them up BUT definitely puts them down as well.
I deserve more than this.
i tried to make things better but you dun seem to get the point. Is it that hard to pay more attention while I talk and not ask the same qtns after 20 sec? I get so irritated that i cannot tell myself to be patient and be tolerant anymore. tell me, just tell me, what do you want me to be? ¶ 8:23 PM
