Saturday, June 11, 2005
and yet I thought it had been going well but how wrong can I be? visualisation doesnt help as well as it used to, ahar! there you have it, everythings in your brain and if your body doesnt permit you to even go that far, its as good as saying that you suck. which I think i totally do. never mind. It good to be sucky, so you actually stay on the ground surface and not float to heavens when you dun suck that much anymore. it would be nice to stand with both your feet on the ground for a couple of moments before you actually decide on where to head on for. get your equipment and physical ready before you start your journey to the heavens, or else you might die hyperventilating out of excitement not even 10m into the air, or just reach the outest realms of the breathable zone and pop, die after that.
whatever the case, only actions can represent my effort. so from now on, i pledge to train wholeheartedly and do my cool-downs properly and even do my strengthening I shall end every training with a perfect set and not back out til Im happy with what I have. I shall look and learn and consult mr yeo after every run and not just turn and walk away in fear that he might start saying weird stuff. for all i knw, weird stuff might mean stuff that might really weirdly but somehow help me. ahwels. whatever the case!
but come to think of it, I have no idea whether I should be glad that all the days of worrying have finally come to an end, for now, or should I be actually sad for the pathetic timing that I clocked having only crossed 3 hurdles in 3 steps, and darn-ly they were so overstretched, no ground speed, ZERO. only pure stretching, so disgusting. anyways. It was the first time that I have actually encountered the 6th , 7th , 8th , 9th and 10 th hurdle which is pretty cool, but I spent a rather long time getting pass them, guess they wanted to spend quality time with me. thats why I felt the certain laginess in my legs. ( shakes head)
then , I would never had thought that I would lag til I qualified to be a 18-pluser. frig it. a mid 18-pluser, how embarrassing. I swear I felt like tearing the results sheet of the wall and well I almost did. One part of me tells me that " damn you! its only wings. its a minor meet, why care the hell abt it, you still have officialy 38 days till 18 july, between that time, you can train DOUBLY hard and practice your starts in the mornings before school starts, and besides ITS YOUR FIRST TIME doing all 10 hurdles , wtf think so much ?"
But the other part of me, seems to be slamming itself with a hammer" DAMN You, WHAT THE HELL were you thinking, you totally embarrassed yourself in front of sso many people, why even bother wearing the nJ jersey, you bring nthg but disgrace and embarrassment to the school, you disappointed mr yeo and mr lim terribly, they dint even bother telling me what went wrong already. your peers are already clocking incredible timings, and here you are, hahah! still lagging with the NON-HURDLERS. ohwels, even slower than they are. how cool can that get, GO ON doing your wishful-thinkgs cos nthgs goonna work out. your era is over! damn, you still have a last chance in nationals, if you dun frikking do anything decent, WE QUIT. yes no more embarrassment to the school, no more embarrassment for myself."
i guess ive finally understood how you are feeling now. the eagerness to etch out sumthg decent can be so hard when you have to meet rising expectations. first, you loose your confidence and try to search for every little detail that might supply you with the most minimal amt of hope, and when you dun even find them, you get all worried and afraid that hte end of the days are near. and so, you shut your gap and not even bother to talk so much anymore . for saying more means revealing more worrying stuff which PANG, will just sweep you off your feet and might never be able to climb and walk this journey ever again, no matter how hard you beg.
I hear of many PBs being broken, over and over again. oh yes ofcos im happy for you but im sorry to say that i would love to break my pb ( oh yes, i have a timing of my own now) ASAP. maybe in a matter of 4 trngs time? damn , for the first step, I would shave the hideous 0.5 from my timing, and slowly progress by cutting by 0.3 or 0.4 per 3 trngs. gah, those were the wonderful days where I shaved 0.7 off my pb within 3 hours in trng. that was the most magical moment. It totally inspired me to give all that I had, and suddenly just forget abt how cautious and accurate I had to be in order to maintain my targetted 3 steps. I whacked like a mad person. and it all paid off. sometimes it is indeed good to be a little mad and wild.
I always see that tinge of sadness in your eyes. when are you gonna lift your head high again and speak with a tad more confidence. whats done is done, i have no idea whether you are still pondering over - but its time you move on. and Indeed, i have no idea if you were like that last year. and THEN AGIAN, its not my business to knw. Im tellg you you can and you must. I trust that you have your own targets in mind, so GO ALL OUT and thrash them.
then again, unhappy stuff aside. time to balance it out. haiyah. alyssa got 1st for high jump which is NOT EMBARRASSING. really. its cool. changxi clocked pb and got 2nd and what else, SHUFANG managed to out run and got 7 th, then agian its another remarkable pb broken. congrats people.
relays went pleasantly well, especially fo the girls team, who broke their pb yet again!
i have a shuffle(:
yes! yaye.
LOOK STRAIGHT, LOOK WHERE YOURE GOING. ¶ 8:08 AM
whatever the case, only actions can represent my effort. so from now on, i pledge to train wholeheartedly and do my cool-downs properly and even do my strengthening I shall end every training with a perfect set and not back out til Im happy with what I have. I shall look and learn and consult mr yeo after every run and not just turn and walk away in fear that he might start saying weird stuff. for all i knw, weird stuff might mean stuff that might really weirdly but somehow help me. ahwels. whatever the case!
but come to think of it, I have no idea whether I should be glad that all the days of worrying have finally come to an end, for now, or should I be actually sad for the pathetic timing that I clocked having only crossed 3 hurdles in 3 steps, and darn-ly they were so overstretched, no ground speed, ZERO. only pure stretching, so disgusting. anyways. It was the first time that I have actually encountered the 6th , 7th , 8th , 9th and 10 th hurdle which is pretty cool, but I spent a rather long time getting pass them, guess they wanted to spend quality time with me. thats why I felt the certain laginess in my legs. ( shakes head)
then , I would never had thought that I would lag til I qualified to be a 18-pluser. frig it. a mid 18-pluser, how embarrassing. I swear I felt like tearing the results sheet of the wall and well I almost did. One part of me tells me that " damn you! its only wings. its a minor meet, why care the hell abt it, you still have officialy 38 days till 18 july, between that time, you can train DOUBLY hard and practice your starts in the mornings before school starts, and besides ITS YOUR FIRST TIME doing all 10 hurdles , wtf think so much ?"
But the other part of me, seems to be slamming itself with a hammer" DAMN You, WHAT THE HELL were you thinking, you totally embarrassed yourself in front of sso many people, why even bother wearing the nJ jersey, you bring nthg but disgrace and embarrassment to the school, you disappointed mr yeo and mr lim terribly, they dint even bother telling me what went wrong already. your peers are already clocking incredible timings, and here you are, hahah! still lagging with the NON-HURDLERS. ohwels, even slower than they are. how cool can that get, GO ON doing your wishful-thinkgs cos nthgs goonna work out. your era is over! damn, you still have a last chance in nationals, if you dun frikking do anything decent, WE QUIT. yes no more embarrassment to the school, no more embarrassment for myself."
i guess ive finally understood how you are feeling now. the eagerness to etch out sumthg decent can be so hard when you have to meet rising expectations. first, you loose your confidence and try to search for every little detail that might supply you with the most minimal amt of hope, and when you dun even find them, you get all worried and afraid that hte end of the days are near. and so, you shut your gap and not even bother to talk so much anymore . for saying more means revealing more worrying stuff which PANG, will just sweep you off your feet and might never be able to climb and walk this journey ever again, no matter how hard you beg.
I hear of many PBs being broken, over and over again. oh yes ofcos im happy for you but im sorry to say that i would love to break my pb ( oh yes, i have a timing of my own now) ASAP. maybe in a matter of 4 trngs time? damn , for the first step, I would shave the hideous 0.5 from my timing, and slowly progress by cutting by 0.3 or 0.4 per 3 trngs. gah, those were the wonderful days where I shaved 0.7 off my pb within 3 hours in trng. that was the most magical moment. It totally inspired me to give all that I had, and suddenly just forget abt how cautious and accurate I had to be in order to maintain my targetted 3 steps. I whacked like a mad person. and it all paid off. sometimes it is indeed good to be a little mad and wild.
I always see that tinge of sadness in your eyes. when are you gonna lift your head high again and speak with a tad more confidence. whats done is done, i have no idea whether you are still pondering over - but its time you move on. and Indeed, i have no idea if you were like that last year. and THEN AGIAN, its not my business to knw. Im tellg you you can and you must. I trust that you have your own targets in mind, so GO ALL OUT and thrash them.
then again, unhappy stuff aside. time to balance it out. haiyah. alyssa got 1st for high jump which is NOT EMBARRASSING. really. its cool. changxi clocked pb and got 2nd and what else, SHUFANG managed to out run and got 7 th, then agian its another remarkable pb broken. congrats people.
relays went pleasantly well, especially fo the girls team, who broke their pb yet again!
i have a shuffle(:
yes! yaye.
LOOK STRAIGHT, LOOK WHERE YOURE GOING. ¶ 8:08 AM
